My Sis-in-law Cambrey, has been a bit under the weather with various events that have happened recently, so I decided to ask her and Hayden (her son) out for breakfast. Tarryn and Makade were kidnapped (with permission) early this morning by my other sis-in-law to go to a Mountain Man Rendezvous and would be gone the entire day.
My heart was in the right place; how naively I thought, What could be more fun that two temporarily single moms with their toddlers out for a morning meal at a happy breakfast spot like IHOP? Go ahead. Roll your eyes. You probably see what's coming and wonder how I could've been so blind.
We sit down, we start to color, a crayon gets broken, it's no longer fun to color if the crayons are broken. So......we start to bounce, (we as in a 2 and 3 year old, okay, mostly the 3 year old) then climb on mom's back (mostly the 2 year old), then play with utensils (3 year old). We finally place our orders and are told drinks are on the way. Well....., the baby wants his fair share of play and since he's strapped in a high chair, he'll find some way to have fun "gall darn-it" so he starts squealing to his content. Too bad the firemen sitting in a booth across from us didn't find content as Corban starts replicating Kellan's squeal.
"Who can make a silly face?!" I shout in an attempt to gain control over the chaos. Apparently, silly faces are only fun for about 20 seconds, so we start to make animal sounds. Firemen still don't look like they are enjoying their outing (or ours). I take Kellan out of his seat so he will want to stay seated once his food comes. Drinks come. Hayden has a yellow straw and REALLY wants a green straw but we sit (sorta) quietly for a moment.
"Drink" I casually say to Cambrey as Hayden's lidded drink falls onto the booth seat.
"DRINK!" Cambrey responds as Kellan takes my (mildly) hot chocolate and dumps it over the both of us. Commence the fury of napkin grabbing, Kellan crying, waitress and bus-boy bringing wet cloths and dry cloths, Corban lecturing, "Mom, what you do?", firemen inwardly vowing to let us burn if the building is set on fire. Ah.....the food is here!
Hayden and Kellan don't seem to want anything that is on their plate, in fact Hayden still wants a green straw. So we get that desirable colored straw and give him Kellan's pancakes. By this point, I'm just trying to get us fed and out of IHOP which now stands for Instant Humiliation Of Parents. So I order yogurt for Kellan who shouts for more after each bite as I am trying to also shovel french toast in my mouth, eggs in Corban's using my left hand while using my right hand on Kellan. "Who's idea was this?" I ask in-between unattractively large bites. "Definitely yours," is Cambrey's reply with the promise/threat "And it's the last time too!" Once we can no longer take it, we leave with half full plates on the table, 3 filthy & whiny children, and immensely mortified temporarily single moms with shame written across their entire person.
We pay with children running around taking beanie babies (strategically placed at children's reach for vending purposes *sick, sick IHOP people!*) and throwing them at each other. We head toward the door, (is it just me? Are they cheering for our departure?) and leave.
Cambrey, you're right. Never again! Once was too much!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Well, I was laughing about it in the car on the way home. I can't believe we did that. We must be nuts.
Post a Comment